3 Qualities a Woman Should Never Apologize For

Strong Woman - the accidental heroine

Two people bump into each other on a sidewalk, and it’s nobody’s fault.
It’s completely an accident. One person succinctly says, ‘I’m sorry.’
And the other one says, ‘Watch it.’ … You’re the apologizer.
Let the devil teach you how to say ‘Watch it.’
(Louis Canning to Alicia Florrick, “The Good Wife”)

3 Qualities a Woman Should Never Apologize For*

I keep preaching to my students that all of their writing for the rest of their lives needs to be arguable. That they need to have an opinion and also be able to defend that opinion.

As a summative assessment for the semester, my students have to research a contemporary issue and address their findings in podcast format.

One of my students asked me what I felt was a contemporary issue for women so I popped off with “I don’t know…the insane need to apologize for things…”

Probably not an issue per say, but true nonetheless. So, here are three things I think women should never apologize for:

1. A woman should not apologize for having both brains and beauty.

2. A woman should not apologize for being both gentle and powerful.

3. A woman should not apologize for being herself.

*Yes, I know this is a preposition which is never allowed to just hang out at the end of a sentence like this one does, but really, is that rule even necessary, or is it just another archaic form of patriarchal oppression?!?**
**Ha, but no really, is it?

9 Blogger Email Lists You Definitely Need to Join

Email Lists to Join - the accidental heroine

9 Blogger Email Lists You Definitely Need to Join

“Diana, your addiction to blogger emails and newsletters has affected me negatively in the following ways…”

That’s how I see my intervention beginning.

But I honestly can’t help it; I have developed a blogger email habit.

Of course I have. And Black Friday blogger course and resource discounts have not helped me curb this dependence. Not even in the slightest.

In the spirit of true junkie behavior, I’m willing to share my stash (just this once).

Come on, it’s totally no big deal; you know we’d be the best fiends ever.

[note: I’m not being compensated in any way for these recommendations; I’m sure more than a few of these sites have no idea I even exist.]

Blog Email Lists You Need to Join Right Now

Making Sense of Cents (the one that started it all) – After I signed up for Michelle’s emails and started reading through her How to Start a Blog Free Course, I became a fan for life. Michelle is honestly one of the most successful bloggers I have ever known, err read about, and she’s willing to share her secrets!

Women Winning Online – I love Jen’s 7 Proven Ways to Get More Blog Traffic that’s included with her newsletter. I’ve gone on to purchase Find Your Tribe Online and 30 Day Marketing Plan for Bloggers. I’m pretty much in love with everything Jen produces.

Start a Mom Blog – I came across Suzi on Twitter and she almost automatically became my favorite blog email dealer. (Honestly, Suzi and Jen send out the best emails.) I’m not necessarily a new blogger, so I know how to build a blog; I just don’t want to make dumb mistakes or make things more complicated than I should so I’ve purchased both Blog by Number: Every Busy Mom’s Ultimate Guide to Starting a Blog and The 9-Step Blog Plan.

Melyssa Griffin – I saw free 20+ Page Blog Business Plan, and I was sold. Her emails so far have a free video course called Blog to Biz Bootcamp Series (set to begin on November 30th), a free Double Your Traffic + Email List in 30 Days online course (I’d highly recommend this course if you are at all interested in Pinterest traffic), and access to a library of 25 blog success resources.

Design Your Own Blog – Marianne’s blog color scheme of aqua and orange is gorgeous — this just needed to be acknowledged. Her email list subscribers get access to a library of 11 blogging resources and blog design tips. What’s more, her emails are filled with lots of do-it-yourself fixes for anything related to blog design.

What Mommy Does: After reading her Black Friday Deals for Bloggers blog post (and signing up for Content Brew on her recommendation), I absolutely had to sign up for her newsletter. Plus, she included a 2017 Blog Planner in her first email that I will definitely have to use to help me keep track of all the courses and resources I’ve acquired so far.

Blog Clarity – I just signed up for Melissa’s email last night, so I’ve only skim-read the DIY Blog Critique she includes with her newsletter. But based on Lena’s recommendation (and the phrase “50% off”), I quickly signed up for Content Brew. The course doesn’t start until January 9th, and I am definitely looking forward it.

Kory Woodard – I saw Kory’s tweet (and “40% off”) early this morning and promptly used that discount. And yes, I also signed up for her newsletter (’cause why wouldn’t I?!?) and immediately received her Discovering Your Brand eBook.

Elite Blog Academy – Ruth’s Elite Blog Academy is currently on waitlist only (the next one begins February of 2017), but she more than makes up for that with her emails. I only signed up yesterday, and so far, I’ve received The Blog Structure Blueprint, 7 Surefire Ways to Boost Your Blog Income Overnight, and a Goal Setting Workbook for Bloggers.

I apparently thrive in an information overload environment!

Blog Courses I Want to Sign Up For Eventually

Pinfinite Growth – Melyssa (from Melyssa Griffin) is offering a course that is practically equivalent to a Masters Degree in Pinterest. I loved her online workshop, and after two pages of notes, I am more than ready to complete this course as well.

Making Sense of Affiliate Marketing – Michelle (from Making Sense of Cents) has put together a course about “how to build a six figure blog without millions of visitors or selling your soul.” I’m ridiculously inspired by Michelle’s success, so I definitely need to take this course soon (or at least put it on my Christmas Wish List).

Have I missed any other blogging courses or resources? Are you concerned that I am hoarding blogging stuff? Did you think I was joking when I made my addiction confession?

If you’d like to follow me on my blogging adventure (or if you’d like to be in charge of my intervention), you should definitely leave me a comment below and head over to the sidebar to subscribe to my blog. It’s clear that my blog resource collecting needs to be monitored!

7 Explanations as to Why Women Have Ever Been Considered Inferior

Women Considered Inferior - the accidental heroine

7 Explanations as to Why Women Have Ever Been Considered Inferior

You know when you feel like someone else is operating the train that is your life and the conductor is bent on running it at warp-speed right smack into Procrastination Junction?!? Well, lovelies, let me introduce you to how it feels to be a teacher with three days left until Thanksgiving and four whole days of freedom and an innate need to avoid anything having to do with grading papers.

Now, in the midst of my looming “should I just throw this assignment away and forget about it, or should I just give them all participation credit and call it graded?” conundrum, I am also compelled to arbitrarily question society’s views of women.

Nothing like muddying the waters of one issue with the even more murky waters of another.

Again, I can’t make this shit up.

And for some reason (my age, my post-divorce independence, my anxiety – probably any one, or all, of these), I’m obsessed with the social development of women throughout time. I love when my brain gloms on to such a heavy subject during the school year. Wouldn’t it have been easier to question the very foundation of women in society at a more convenient time – like, say, perhaps the 10 weeks of summer?!?

Anyway, in order to placate my insatiable quest to understand why society is the way it is, I’ve spent the better part of this week in a feminism research fog. It’s a good kind of fog, though.

If you’re at all like me, then this election (debacle) has you wondering what the hell is happening to the women in this country*. And dammit, you want answers. I got you. Here are seven sources that have offered me some sort of revelation in my “why were women ever considered to be inferior anyway” investigation:

  1. Analyzing the Persistence of Gender Inequality: How to Think about the Origins excerpt from chapter two of Down So Long …: The Puzzling Persistence of Gender Inequality, Robert Max Jackson, 2016
    “Once gender inequality becomes established, permeating society’s institutions, it develops its own momentum. It causes the maintenance and expansion of female subordination under many social conditions, even as the biological differences between the sexes lose all significance for social organization. And this allows the degree of inequality to grow well beyond that evoked as a complex result of biological differences in rudimentary societies.”
  2. Women’s Oppression and Class Society from Women and the Struggle for Socialism, Norah Carlin, 1985
    “History shows that there have been as many ways of keeping women down as there have been class societies, and that the position of women has always been different for different classes in the same society. This is important because it helps us to understand the particular ways in which capitalist society oppresses women today and the reasons why. History shows that there is no one ‘natural’ role for women.”
  3. The Myth of Women’s Inferiority by Evelyn Reed, 1954
    “It is not nature, but class society, which lowered women and elevated men. Men won their social supremacy in struggle against and conquest over the women. But this sexual struggle was part and parcel of a great social struggle – the overturn of primitive society and the institution of class society. Women’s inferiority is the product of a social system which has produced and fostered innumerable other inequalities, inferiorities, discriminations and degradations. But this social history has been concealed behind the myth that women are naturally inferior to man.”
  4. Are Women Really Inferior and Unclean? by Allen Francis, 2016
    “Women and men were pretty much equal during the hunting and gathering phase of our existence, but female status dropped dramatically once we switched to agriculture.”
  5. Are Women the Inferior Sex? by Ashley Montagu, UNESCO Courier, 1955
    On Human Right’s Day in 1955, the UNESCO Courier devoted an entire issue of their magazine to discuss the progress of women’s rights. The entire magazine is available in .pdf form at the link above.
    “The intelligence that the world stands in most need of at the present time — indeed at any time — is the intelligence with which women are most abundantly equipped. It is the kind of intelligence which ensures and conserves life and renders life more abundantly possible.”
  6. Is Religion Afraid of Women? by Angela Davis
    “Could this [lack of control of sexual urges] be the reason why almost all major religions appear to be almost [misogynistic]? Perhaps men are subconsciously aware of their Achilles’ heel, and since all religious texts were written by men, what could be easier than blaming women for this weakness?”
  7. 20 Gloria Steinem Quotes to Get You Feeling Feminist AF, 2016
    Gloria Steinem may not be providing an explanation, per say, but she definitely has a way of putting things into perspective.
    “Women have always been an equal part of the past. We just haven’t been a part of history.”‬

Women Considered Inferior - the accidental heroine

And just because my students consistently entertain and amaze me, I have to include this conversation I had with a couple of of them on Wednesday:

Boy: Ms. B, did you vote?
Me: Did I vote? Are you serious?
Boy: Did you?
Me: There are women that marched for my right to vote. There are women that died before ever being granted the right to vote. There are women that had to vote according to their husband’s preference because they didn’t own any land themselves. There are women in this world that are only allowed to cast their vote by signing an X or dropping a stone into a bucket. What do you —
Boy (interrupting me): …yeah, you voted for Hillary.
Me: Why do you use her first name and yet you refer to Trump by his last?
Girl (sitting next to the boy): Wait, why is it like that?
Me: That would make a great question for a research project.
Another girl (in a perfect radio announcer voice): And, folks, what you’re witnessing here is the birth of a brand-new feminist…

Right?!? Couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Now it’s your turn: is there anything you’ve found that has come close to explaining why women have been marked as inferior in society?

*Yes, I know that the issue has an enormity beyond that of just women. I’m currently only capable of questioning and addressing the women one, though.

9 Phrases I Seriously Love to Use

Phrases I Use Too Much - the accidental heroine

9 Phrases I Seriously Love to Use

My junior year English teacher used to always admonish me to “write about what you know.” I, in turn, took that to mean that I should embellish my life to make it far more interesting than the 16 years of time I had spent on earth had allowed.

With that advice in mind, I wrote a story about boat crash survivors washing ashore on a deserted island and falling in love. I probably don’t need to mention that I failed that assignment.

The one thing I remember from the margin comments on that exceedingly red inked F paper was the phrase “excellent voice.” It would take me years into college and well into my teaching program to figure out that he meant that he liked the way I wrote just not necessarily what I wrote.

Well, then, fine.

So I learned to write about myself. In a way that was authentic and sarcastic and had nothing to do with island romance narratives (as my 44 years of life have still not allowed me to experience a ship disaster on the shores of any island with some randomly available man…I’m not sure if I should be thankful or patient).

And I write the way I speak. With the pauses. And the inflections. And the run on diatribes about something kinda specifically related to the topic at hand but maybe better suited for a time when I can explain myself without so much enthusiasm or side storied discussions that lead me to rail on about things that are no longer specifically related to the topic at hand.

Yeah. Like that.

More often than not, I shut up from what has become a monologue-esque speech to a person saying, “You seriously need to write this shit down.”

Phrases I Use Too Much - the accidental heroine
And since I’ve taken to accepting that advice as fact, I figure that I should provide some sort of glossary of the phrases I overuse, misuse, or use in a way in which no one else would even want to.

shut up: an exclamation of shock or surprise. Usually followed up with the phrase “not that shut up” as most sane people don’t say shut up when they are shocked or surprised.

wait, what?: another exclamation of incredulity; may also be used when a story drones on for too long, and I’ve just then realized that I missed the part to which I was supposed to respond.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should!: an expression of warning or distaste. The perfect catty commentary of “my kid/best friend would never do that”.

hangonhangonhangon: the repetition in gunshot blast form of the phrase “hang on”; used mainly in instances in which someone has asked for help at precisely the same moment I have just started to do something else. Or my phone rings after I have just given up on the idea that my daughter is going to respond to my text and my hands are immersed in dish water. Happens almost every time.

Dude!: a texting phrase; can carry multiple connotations like no way or he’s stupid or you’re stupid or shut up (yes, that shut up) or you are never going to believe this. I’ve sometimes said this out loud, and I know the second it leaves my mouth that I sound like a middle aged Al Bundy-esque former surfer. I’m okay with that.

Have you lost your evah-lovin hold on reality?: not a question. Always used the instant a kid crosses that very narrow line that divides entertaining me with your ridiculousness and irritating me with your immaturity. Must be said with crazy-mom eyes to be fully effective.

You’re awesome!: a declaration of thank you. I don’t know why I can’t just say thank you and leave the person I should be thanking with some impression that I have evolved somewhat since 1993. Also sometimes used when I have just entered that moment as a customer when I want to tell the person how to do their job because clearly they cannot, and I’ve said something meant to sound sarcastic but it wasn’t, and they finally did what they were supposed to do or what I wanted them to do; it is used in place of thank you in this instance because I reserve thank you for people that know how to do a simple job. Thanks.

Pop a squat: a phrase I incorrectly gleaned from Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” and my dad. I couldn’t understand half of what my dad was saying most of the time as he spoke with a really thick and most often alcohol-slowed southern accent. I heard my dad say pop; Julia says cop. It means sit down now, y’all.

seriously: may be used as a declaration, an exclamation, or a question; can also be spoken to indicate agreement when one is talking about one’s clearly unbalanced relatives, spouse/boyfriend, or boss. A phrase of unity in the face of idiocy.

I’m not even kidding. I’m totally like this in real life beyond the blog in real conversations.

I’m a bit too far gone to make excuses for my behavior at this point.

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