3 Qualities a Woman Should Never Apologize For

Strong Woman - the accidental heroine

Two people bump into each other on a sidewalk, and it’s nobody’s fault.
It’s completely an accident. One person succinctly says, ‘I’m sorry.’
And the other one says, ‘Watch it.’ … You’re the apologizer.
Let the devil teach you how to say ‘Watch it.’
(Louis Canning to Alicia Florrick, “The Good Wife”)

3 Qualities a Woman Should Never Apologize For*

I keep preaching to my students that all of their writing for the rest of their lives needs to be arguable. That they need to have an opinion and also be able to defend that opinion.

As a summative assessment for the semester, my students have to research a contemporary issue and address their findings in podcast format.

One of my students asked me what I felt was a contemporary issue for women so I popped off with “I don’t know…the insane need to apologize for things…”

Probably not an issue per say, but true nonetheless. So, here are three things I think women should never apologize for:

1. A woman should not apologize for having both brains and beauty.

2. A woman should not apologize for being both gentle and powerful.

3. A woman should not apologize for being herself.

*Yes, I know this is a preposition which is never allowed to just hang out at the end of a sentence like this one does, but really, is that rule even necessary, or is it just another archaic form of patriarchal oppression?!?**
**Ha, but no really, is it?

Monthly Goals: December Edition

December Goals - the accidental heroine

Monthly Goals: December Edition

Welcome to my Monthly Goals blogging series. I plan to share my blog goals and my personal goals each month and then reflect on those goals the next month to see if anything was actually accomplished. I figure that writing my goals here is equivalent to releasing them into the universe, and the baby Jesus knows that I dare not disappoint the universe!

It’s finally almost the first day of December.

I don’t know about you, but I’m over the emotional trauma of November.

The presidential election debacle was topped off by a huge fight between two of my dogs. I should probably just start writing out my salary payable to the vet. I’ve honestly just become the middle man between my bank account and the vet’s bank account, and I don’t drink enough wine for this not to be a painful endeavor!

Now, we are mere weeks from 2016 being over. 2016 seriously needs to go to bed; I’m over 2016 and its take take take personality. 2016 took Prince but gave us this president-elect; wtf, 2016?!?


With two weeks off at the end of this month, I plan on diving into all the blog courses and resources (9 Blogger Email Lists You Definitely Need to Join) that I’ve downloaded over the last few weeks.

I’ll for sure have them all read, memorized, and implemented by the start of 2017. Because I clearly have more than 24 hours in a day; don’t you?!?

But before I commit myself to an overbooked end of December melee, I need to update my October + November goals:

October and November Goals

  1. Twitter: at least 50 followers.
    YEP! – My @accidentaldiana account actually has 125 followers!
  2. Workout at least three times a week. With weights.
    NOPE – I don’t even have a good excuse.
  3. Pick a paint color and paint the damn hallway.
    NOPE – I thought about this a few times, and that’s as far as I got.
  4. List and sell the eBay items
    KINDA – I only listed some brand new Victoria’s Secret bras and a Coach bag; I still have many more to sell.
  5. Sell the chairs and random tools on the List of Craig.
    NOPE – I thought about it, but meh.
  6. Write two blog posts a week.
    YEP! – Thanksgiving Thursday was the only post I skipped.
  7. Increase my blog visits to at least 100.
    YEP! – My 9 Blogger Email Lists You Definitely Need to Join post reached 152 visits in one day. Very exciting!
  8. Set up a Facebook account for my blog.
    NOPE – I’m just not there yet.
  9. Upload a photo of myself for my “about me” widget.
    NOPE – I found a stock photo that will work for now.

Apparently, I’m not a goal completer. Or maybe I’m just an overscheduler. Either way, I think I need to be more specific and task oriented in December.

December Goals

  1. Twitter: maintain at least 200 followers.
  2. Workout at least three times a week. I must keep this as a goal.
  3. List and sell the eBay items.
  4. Sell the chairs and random tools on the List of Craig.
  5. Write another blog post that reaches at least 100 visits. 
  6. Create a landing page and newsletter opt-in. 
  7. Finish two quilts. Yes, this one probably seems random, but they’ve been about 3/4 complete since December of 2009. I might want to move on from this project!

I should probably add in something about not sending my bank account into a deficit by buying too many gifts for the daughter and the dogs, but why set myself up to fail?!?

Oh, December, I have such high hopes for you. Do your best to not disappoint me, okay?

Do you have any amazing goals in mind for the last month of this year? How many of those goals involve consuming copious amounts of alcohol? Are you suddenly concerned that you are falling behind on your liquor intake???

If you feel like you need to join an anti-2016 support group, leave me a comment below. I’ll bring the cookies and wine.

9 Blogger Email Lists You Definitely Need to Join

Email Lists to Join - the accidental heroine

9 Blogger Email Lists You Definitely Need to Join

“Diana, your addiction to blogger emails and newsletters has affected me negatively in the following ways…”

That’s how I see my intervention beginning.

But I honestly can’t help it; I have developed a blogger email habit.

Of course I have. And Black Friday blogger course and resource discounts have not helped me curb this dependence. Not even in the slightest.

In the spirit of true junkie behavior, I’m willing to share my stash (just this once).

Come on, it’s totally no big deal; you know we’d be the best fiends ever.

[note: I’m not being compensated in any way for these recommendations; I’m sure more than a few of these sites have no idea I even exist.]

Blog Email Lists You Need to Join Right Now

Making Sense of Cents (the one that started it all) – After I signed up for Michelle’s emails and started reading through her How to Start a Blog Free Course, I became a fan for life. Michelle is honestly one of the most successful bloggers I have ever known, err read about, and she’s willing to share her secrets!

Women Winning Online – I love Jen’s 7 Proven Ways to Get More Blog Traffic that’s included with her newsletter. I’ve gone on to purchase Find Your Tribe Online and 30 Day Marketing Plan for Bloggers. I’m pretty much in love with everything Jen produces.

Start a Mom Blog – I came across Suzi on Twitter and she almost automatically became my favorite blog email dealer. (Honestly, Suzi and Jen send out the best emails.) I’m not necessarily a new blogger, so I know how to build a blog; I just don’t want to make dumb mistakes or make things more complicated than I should so I’ve purchased both Blog by Number: Every Busy Mom’s Ultimate Guide to Starting a Blog and The 9-Step Blog Plan.

Melyssa Griffin – I saw free 20+ Page Blog Business Plan, and I was sold. Her emails so far have a free video course called Blog to Biz Bootcamp Series (set to begin on November 30th), a free Double Your Traffic + Email List in 30 Days online course (I’d highly recommend this course if you are at all interested in Pinterest traffic), and access to a library of 25 blog success resources.

Design Your Own Blog – Marianne’s blog color scheme of aqua and orange is gorgeous — this just needed to be acknowledged. Her email list subscribers get access to a library of 11 blogging resources and blog design tips. What’s more, her emails are filled with lots of do-it-yourself fixes for anything related to blog design.

What Mommy Does: After reading her Black Friday Deals for Bloggers blog post (and signing up for Content Brew on her recommendation), I absolutely had to sign up for her newsletter. Plus, she included a 2017 Blog Planner in her first email that I will definitely have to use to help me keep track of all the courses and resources I’ve acquired so far.

Blog Clarity – I just signed up for Melissa’s email last night, so I’ve only skim-read the DIY Blog Critique she includes with her newsletter. But based on Lena’s recommendation (and the phrase “50% off”), I quickly signed up for Content Brew. The course doesn’t start until January 9th, and I am definitely looking forward it.

Kory Woodard – I saw Kory’s tweet (and “40% off”) early this morning and promptly used that discount. And yes, I also signed up for her newsletter (’cause why wouldn’t I?!?) and immediately received her Discovering Your Brand eBook.

Elite Blog Academy – Ruth’s Elite Blog Academy is currently on waitlist only (the next one begins February of 2017), but she more than makes up for that with her emails. I only signed up yesterday, and so far, I’ve received The Blog Structure Blueprint, 7 Surefire Ways to Boost Your Blog Income Overnight, and a Goal Setting Workbook for Bloggers.

I apparently thrive in an information overload environment!

Blog Courses I Want to Sign Up For Eventually

Pinfinite Growth – Melyssa (from Melyssa Griffin) is offering a course that is practically equivalent to a Masters Degree in Pinterest. I loved her online workshop, and after two pages of notes, I am more than ready to complete this course as well.

Making Sense of Affiliate Marketing – Michelle (from Making Sense of Cents) has put together a course about “how to build a six figure blog without millions of visitors or selling your soul.” I’m ridiculously inspired by Michelle’s success, so I definitely need to take this course soon (or at least put it on my Christmas Wish List).

Have I missed any other blogging courses or resources? Are you concerned that I am hoarding blogging stuff? Did you think I was joking when I made my addiction confession?

If you’d like to follow me on my blogging adventure (or if you’d like to be in charge of my intervention), you should definitely leave me a comment below and head over to the sidebar to subscribe to my blog. It’s clear that my blog resource collecting needs to be monitored!

7 Explanations as to Why Women Have Ever Been Considered Inferior

Women Considered Inferior - the accidental heroine

7 Explanations as to Why Women Have Ever Been Considered Inferior

You know when you feel like someone else is operating the train that is your life and the conductor is bent on running it at warp-speed right smack into Procrastination Junction?!? Well, lovelies, let me introduce you to how it feels to be a teacher with three days left until Thanksgiving and four whole days of freedom and an innate need to avoid anything having to do with grading papers.

Now, in the midst of my looming “should I just throw this assignment away and forget about it, or should I just give them all participation credit and call it graded?” conundrum, I am also compelled to arbitrarily question society’s views of women.

Nothing like muddying the waters of one issue with the even more murky waters of another.

Again, I can’t make this shit up.

And for some reason (my age, my post-divorce independence, my anxiety – probably any one, or all, of these), I’m obsessed with the social development of women throughout time. I love when my brain gloms on to such a heavy subject during the school year. Wouldn’t it have been easier to question the very foundation of women in society at a more convenient time – like, say, perhaps the 10 weeks of summer?!?

Anyway, in order to placate my insatiable quest to understand why society is the way it is, I’ve spent the better part of this week in a feminism research fog. It’s a good kind of fog, though.

If you’re at all like me, then this election (debacle) has you wondering what the hell is happening to the women in this country*. And dammit, you want answers. I got you. Here are seven sources that have offered me some sort of revelation in my “why were women ever considered to be inferior anyway” investigation:

  1. Analyzing the Persistence of Gender Inequality: How to Think about the Origins excerpt from chapter two of Down So Long …: The Puzzling Persistence of Gender Inequality, Robert Max Jackson, 2016
    “Once gender inequality becomes established, permeating society’s institutions, it develops its own momentum. It causes the maintenance and expansion of female subordination under many social conditions, even as the biological differences between the sexes lose all significance for social organization. And this allows the degree of inequality to grow well beyond that evoked as a complex result of biological differences in rudimentary societies.”
  2. Women’s Oppression and Class Society from Women and the Struggle for Socialism, Norah Carlin, 1985
    “History shows that there have been as many ways of keeping women down as there have been class societies, and that the position of women has always been different for different classes in the same society. This is important because it helps us to understand the particular ways in which capitalist society oppresses women today and the reasons why. History shows that there is no one ‘natural’ role for women.”
  3. The Myth of Women’s Inferiority by Evelyn Reed, 1954
    “It is not nature, but class society, which lowered women and elevated men. Men won their social supremacy in struggle against and conquest over the women. But this sexual struggle was part and parcel of a great social struggle – the overturn of primitive society and the institution of class society. Women’s inferiority is the product of a social system which has produced and fostered innumerable other inequalities, inferiorities, discriminations and degradations. But this social history has been concealed behind the myth that women are naturally inferior to man.”
  4. Are Women Really Inferior and Unclean? by Allen Francis, 2016
    “Women and men were pretty much equal during the hunting and gathering phase of our existence, but female status dropped dramatically once we switched to agriculture.”
  5. Are Women the Inferior Sex? by Ashley Montagu, UNESCO Courier, 1955
    On Human Right’s Day in 1955, the UNESCO Courier devoted an entire issue of their magazine to discuss the progress of women’s rights. The entire magazine is available in .pdf form at the link above.
    “The intelligence that the world stands in most need of at the present time — indeed at any time — is the intelligence with which women are most abundantly equipped. It is the kind of intelligence which ensures and conserves life and renders life more abundantly possible.”
  6. Is Religion Afraid of Women? by Angela Davis
    “Could this [lack of control of sexual urges] be the reason why almost all major religions appear to be almost [misogynistic]? Perhaps men are subconsciously aware of their Achilles’ heel, and since all religious texts were written by men, what could be easier than blaming women for this weakness?”
  7. 20 Gloria Steinem Quotes to Get You Feeling Feminist AF, 2016
    Gloria Steinem may not be providing an explanation, per say, but she definitely has a way of putting things into perspective.
    “Women have always been an equal part of the past. We just haven’t been a part of history.”‬

Women Considered Inferior - the accidental heroine

And just because my students consistently entertain and amaze me, I have to include this conversation I had with a couple of of them on Wednesday:

Boy: Ms. B, did you vote?
Me: Did I vote? Are you serious?
Boy: Did you?
Me: There are women that marched for my right to vote. There are women that died before ever being granted the right to vote. There are women that had to vote according to their husband’s preference because they didn’t own any land themselves. There are women in this world that are only allowed to cast their vote by signing an X or dropping a stone into a bucket. What do you —
Boy (interrupting me): …yeah, you voted for Hillary.
Me: Why do you use her first name and yet you refer to Trump by his last?
Girl (sitting next to the boy): Wait, why is it like that?
Me: That would make a great question for a research project.
Another girl (in a perfect radio announcer voice): And, folks, what you’re witnessing here is the birth of a brand-new feminist…

Right?!? Couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Now it’s your turn: is there anything you’ve found that has come close to explaining why women have been marked as inferior in society?

*Yes, I know that the issue has an enormity beyond that of just women. I’m currently only capable of questioning and addressing the women one, though.

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